As of a fresh-born eaglet, taking its first ride, effortfully
grasping for a breath of air.
Battling to look above and live, struggling to trust and obey,
Overwhelmed with a feeling of death, of failure, of no-worth…
Looking around, I cannot locate the great mother eagle-one who promised to never leave me
Who promised to help me, and told me to fear not
I fail to understand it ..why didn’t it go well? Why did I seem helpless?
Had it gone well, wouldn’t my eyes be stimulated to look?
Wouldn’t it have been therapy to overcome my issues of trust?
It’s a tad too easy to say that God is with you, be discouraged and don’t lose heart, and yes it’s true that He’s here. But I’m human, with a heart of feelings..and when it bleeds hyperactively, the affect cannot be easily ignored..the feelings linger! I heard on Sunday, of a woman whose faith was stronger than her raging feelings. She begged for food, and was called a dog, but she realised that she could still eat of the food, or crumbs, though being a dog. That, to me, is true courage displayed; to trust even when you’re battered. To know that feelings are not a true representation of reality, and be stronger than what you feel. He who can achieve this, is the greatest to me. For I stand with the proverb: “…he that ruleth his spirit [is] better than he that taketh a city”
If I can fly up, high above my feelings, then I shall see better, not blurrily, as of the present. For I once wrote:
The view is always blurry to eyes full of tears. Just because you don't see Him, doesn't mean He's not there.
You be still and know that He is God. He promised never to leave you nor forsake you.
Encourage yourself in the Lord, and believe in Him.
Psalm 27: 13
"I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of
the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."
Battling to look above and live, struggling to trust and obey,
Overwhelmed with a feeling of death, of failure, of no-worth…
Looking around, I cannot locate the great mother eagle-one who promised to never leave me
Who promised to help me, and told me to fear not
I fail to understand it ..why didn’t it go well? Why did I seem helpless?
Had it gone well, wouldn’t my eyes be stimulated to look?
Wouldn’t it have been therapy to overcome my issues of trust?
It’s a tad too easy to say that God is with you, be discouraged and don’t lose heart, and yes it’s true that He’s here. But I’m human, with a heart of feelings..and when it bleeds hyperactively, the affect cannot be easily ignored..the feelings linger! I heard on Sunday, of a woman whose faith was stronger than her raging feelings. She begged for food, and was called a dog, but she realised that she could still eat of the food, or crumbs, though being a dog. That, to me, is true courage displayed; to trust even when you’re battered. To know that feelings are not a true representation of reality, and be stronger than what you feel. He who can achieve this, is the greatest to me. For I stand with the proverb: “…he that ruleth his spirit [is] better than he that taketh a city”
If I can fly up, high above my feelings, then I shall see better, not blurrily, as of the present. For I once wrote:
The view is always blurry to eyes full of tears. Just because you don't see Him, doesn't mean He's not there.
You be still and know that He is God. He promised never to leave you nor forsake you.
Encourage yourself in the Lord, and believe in Him.
Psalm 27: 13
"I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of
the LORD in the land of the living.
Wait on the LORD: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the LORD."
AMEN! My, how tremendously blessed I am to have read this!!! It is very true how that feelings can be so deceiving, that's why the Word instructs us to walk by Faith and not by sight or any of the other five senses. We are to walk and live by the Sixth sense! SHALOM! God bless you richly Sister in Christ. '\(^o^)/'
ReplyDeleteThank you Sir. God bless you even more
ReplyDelete